the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am midnight drunk by noon
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
