I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
