it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
