You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
