every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
