I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
