Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Its about making memories worth repressing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize