In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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