life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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