I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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