the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
