You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
