I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
