I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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