So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize