I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm too high and old for this...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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