Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
