ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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