it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
