im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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