Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont even know how to be here
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
