I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Randomize
