do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
