That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
