I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
