Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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