He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
