I got chris browned last night
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
