He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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