i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
