The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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