I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
