Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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