Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
