My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My bed smells like the plague
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
