ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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