i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
