and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
sex in a hospital.. check
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize