i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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