Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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