so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
