I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
