maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize