it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
