Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize