You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
