Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize