shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
