i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
