You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
