you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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