Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
