This girl is more easily done than said...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
