Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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