Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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