I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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