A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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