You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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