Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
