just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
